Candidates you’re fired: chesterfield sofa – you’re hired

Chesterfield Sofa

What’s the difference between one of Lord Sugar’s apprentices and a chesterfield sofa? Well, it’s simply this: both are full of promises, but only one can really deliver. We know you can guess which one’s which. This year’s crop pf apprentices are just as full of it as the last – big on talk and promise, but with little substance. Some claim to be the ultimate selling machines or alpha males, but deep down they’re just wanabees who fancy their 5 minutes of screen fame. They can certainly talk the talk, but unlike a chesterfield sofa, none of them seem to be capable of walking the walk.

Mind you, Lord Sugar is a canny one. All the bluff and bluster won’t cut any ice with him. He knows the real McCoy when he sees it, and frankly the chances of him seeing it this season are slim, if what we’ve seen so far is anything to go by. This week sees the motley crew assemble at the Royal Exchange – home to some of the biggest names in the luxury goods market, and also home to some rather splendid leather chesterfield sofas too. Obviously the Royal Exchange knows class when it sees it.

The candidates’ task is to design and manufacture a fragrant candle to melt shoppers’ hearts. We may not have a crystal ball, but we can confidently predict that it won’t end well. Both teams, Summit and Tenacity, will somehow manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory once again, but not before we’ve had to sit through another hour of excruciatingly embarrassing and uncomfortable viewing. Frankly we rather just sit and watch the iconic leather chesterfield sofas for an hour, comfortable in the knowledge that they will be still be delivering when this year’s hopefuls are but a dim and distant memory.

Class is permanent after all. We don’t need to make outlandish promises to sell our chesterfield sofas. They sell themselves. All the Chesterfield Sofa Company has to say is this: they’re striking, they’re stylish and they simply ooze class and sophistication. You might even call them ‘decadent’, though we’re not so sure Lord Sugar would take too kindly to that. We don’t need to shout about it, and we don’t need to tell people they’re better than other sofas. We’ll simply let you be the judge of that. Actions speak far more loudly than words. As far as we’re concerned we’d fire the lot of them. There’s only one thing worth hiring in our opinion, and that’s the chesterfield sofa.